Yeah, we'll meet again
by heathos
Summary: This will be a short [8 chapter] prequel to my much larger project I am working on, Cruel Summer. This is to fill in the space between the end of Hey Arnold! The Movie and the summer between 11th and 12th grade when the characters will be 17. Fluffy. Rated T for angst and puberty
1. Yeah we'll meet again

This is a prequel to my much larger project I am working on, Cruel Summer.  
This is to fill in the space between the end of Hey Arnold! The Movie and the summer between 11th and 12th grade when the characters will be 17.  
The Jungle movie can have happened or not, both stories will make sense either way with or without it, but Helga is not part of it.

Phrases in _italics_ in the story are presented as memories, and are all taken from Hey Arnold! The Movie.

Pairings: Helga & Arnold, slight Gerald and Phoebe, and an unnamed boy on boy moment

* * *

 **Chapter titles are from We'll Meet Again by Ross Parker and Hughie Charles, I was inspired by the Johnny Cash version**

 **Wishing I owned Hey Arnold! but I don't and Craig Bartlett/Nickelodeon do**

* * *

4th grade

* * *

I gave her the easy way out. I wasn't ready.

 _You were caught up in the heat of the moment, right?_ I didn't know what to do with LOVE, I could barely handle LIKE. _You actually hate me, don't you?_ I gave her the easy way out, and on a silver platter at that.

 _Of course I hate you, you stupid football head, and don't you ever forget it! Ever!_ Those were the last words I heard her speak. Her dad had her spend the rest of the summer with her sister.

* * *

I took the easy way out. He wasn't ready.

He gave me the easy way out. _You were caught up in the heat of the moment, right?_ There was never a better sound to my ears. _You actually hate me, don't you?_ He didn't hate me. He just wasn't ready.

 _Of course I hate you, you stupid football head, and don't you ever forget it! Ever!_ Those were the last words I spoke to him. Bob sent me to spend the summer with Olga after that.


	2. I don't know when

5th grade

* * *

She didn't come back for fifth grade.

Her parents stayed away from the neighborhood for the most part. _But, I thought you were on your dad's side. I thought you were gonna get rich off the whole deal._ They were in a big Legal battle with Scheck and Big Bob's old assistant Nick who had sold him out to Scheck. _Money isn't everything. It's my civic duty._ It was all over the news. Her parents playing the part of sweet middle class victims like the rest of the neighborhood. I guess he forgot he was going to put a new Beeper Emporium right where the boarding house sits. Olga came down for the trial, and cried her big beautiful tears on the stand. The jury ate it up.

I tried bringing the subject up with Phoebe about where she was... and about the summer. _Helga?! You? You're Deep Voice?_ Everyone had asked the first few weeks of school about where she was, but Phoebe had thought she would be there. I found her in the library one day, crying quietly behind a big book. Helga wasn't coming back. She would be at boarding school at least until the trial was over. Phoebe and I sat and stared at each other a very long time. She knew. She would tell me if she heard anything, but she hardly spoke to me the whole year.

* * *

I didn't come back for the fifth grade.

My parents sent me to a French-Canadian boarding school. They thought I would mess up their trial against Scheck and that nasty slimeball Nick. _But, I thought you were on your dad's side. I thought you were gonna get rich off the whole deal._ I saw the whole thing on TV though. My parents acting sweet and playing as victims, holding hands and touching each other, going in and out of the courthouse. Miriam even looked sober. And Olga with her tears, criminy! The jury ate it up.

Bob had sent me away without anything. They took away my phone. They couldn't actually afford the boarding school, not unless they actually managed to win the trial. _Money isn't everything. It's my civic duty._ They didn't know if they would get to keep the house either. I was told to throw out all my 'junk' that I couldn't take in my two small suitcases I was allowed to bring. I put all my journals in a box after I copied my favorite poems and anecdotes from all my volumes into one book I could take. _Helga?! You? You're Deep Voice?_ Another box held a few pieces of my shrine, pictures, and my shoe from when I pretended to be his French pen-pal Cecile, and a few other special things. I gave them to Phoebe. I told her to tell people she didn't know where I was. That she thought I was supposed to go to school with everyone.

I really wish this trial was over and I could come home.


	3. But I do know

6th grade

* * *

Phoebe told me over the summer that Helga was at boarding school.

I can't stop thinking about her. _But I don't get it. How come... How come you couldn't just tell me what you knew? Why'd you have to make up all this crazy secret identity?_ I can't help but feel that she was always playing a role. Not just as Deep Voice. _That's a pretty amazing thing to do for someone you claim to hate._ I kinda think she was always watching me, always helping me. I don't know how, but my luck just isn't the same with her gone. _Yeah, well, I'm a pretty amazing person, football head._

Gerald and I trained to get on the sports teams next year. We played less with the kids in the neighborhood. _But Helga, you just risked everything to help me save the neighborhood._ It just wasn't the same without Helga there anyway. We practiced making shots in the higher baskets in the middle school gym every Monday when it was open for volleyball practice, but there were always a few hoops open and the coach didn't mind we came by. We would also go to the batting cages at least once a month and stay all day.

* * *

I let Phoebe tell him where I was.

I can't stop thinking about him. _But I don't get it. How come... How come you couldn't just tell me what you knew? Why'd you have to make up all this crazy secret identity?_ I didn't let her tell me his reaction. I couldn't bear it if he responded poorly… _That's a pretty amazing thing to do for someone you claim to hate._ Or if he responded well either. _Yeah, well, I'm a pretty amazing person, football head._ What a crock.

I miss playing with the guys. I even miss Harold. I miss Gerald Field, baseball, and basketball. _But Helga, you just risked everything to help me save the neighborhood._ I would gladly play football again at the hands of Wolfgang and Ludwig just to spend some time with everyone again. Even Lila looks good compared to the girls I have to see here at school. This school doesn't even have sports teams for me to play on, they are not becoming of a lady. As if I care what is becoming of a lady.


	4. That we'll meet again

7th grade

* * *

She came back.

Only she didn't. Nearly everyone from PS118 moved on to the same middle school around the corner from the Circle Theater. I hadn't even realized that she was back, though it made sense now that the trial was over. Her parents won their case, and they got a huge settlement out of it. I found out during the first week of school that she was back. I saw Phoebe and asked about her summer and she told me how she took dance lessons and attended Madame Parvenu's together. I could hear the blood rushing to my ears; it didn't last long.

But she wasn't back. She was going to the all girls school downtown.

Gerald and I both made the baseball and basketball teams. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? A part of me hopes she will be at one of my games, but she never is.

I finally saw her; Rhonda had a New Year's Eve party at her house. She went to the girl's school with Helga. There were so many girls there that night, I couldn't find her until Rhonda set up a game of spin the bottle. Gerald got his turn and it landed on me; he tried to protest but Rhonda told him that, "If the girls are kissing the girls, then the boys are kissing the boys. It's simply fair." The guys shielded their eyes; except Eugene, he leaned in so close I thought he was going to join us. When we made contact Phoebe and a few other girls shrieked and started fanning their faces; Phoebe fell back onto the floor, getting up with a goofy grin.

It was my chance. I tried to spin it to land on Helga. I had to kiss her again, I had to know. It landed on Lila Sawyer. I lifted my eyes from the bottle to Helga and her eyes were glazed over. She stood up and excused herself. I looked from Rhonda to Lila to Phoebe. I was losing time. I whispered to Rhonda that I wasn't comfortable kissing Lila after our history and left the room. I tried to find her, and a girl from her school tells me she has gone out front. But I am too late. I see her getting into her dad's Hummer and he is yelling about coming to get her.

I try to take her off my mind by throwing myself into practice. I do great; our baseball team comes in second in our district. But it doesn't work. It doesn't take my mind off of her.

I didn't see her again the rest of the year.

* * *

I came back.

Only I didn't. Bob and Miriam sent me to Miss Higgins Academy for Young Ladies. I will now be here until the end of high school; at least I am in my old house. The trial ended and Bob made a big payout, so I got to come home. Bob sent me to dance classes and finishing school pretty much every day during the summer. Luckily, Phoebe was able to sign up for most of the classes with me. She applied to Higgins Academy with me, but she didn't get in on the lottery system. Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd did. Joy.  
But I wasn't back. I was at that stupid school downtown.

I joined the middle school level lacrosse team. On practice days Bob drove me home, otherwise I had to come straight home and start dinner. Miriam was drinking again now that the trial was over. My practices and games usually overlap Arnold's, but when they don't, I watch his games from under the bleachers. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? I went by the boarding house a couple times when Bob and Miriam got into it real bad; I got all the way up to his skylight. I would stay and watch him for a short while, but I would leave and call Phoebe.

I finally saw him. Rhonda had a New Year's Eve party at her place. She invited so many brainless dolls from our school. When I got there he was by the snack buffet talking to Sid, but I was unsure how to approach him. That is, not until Rhonda set up a game of spin the bottle. As dumb as this game is, I could see the benefit. Gerald got his turn and it landed on Arnold; he tried to protest but Rhonda told him that, "If the girls are kissing the girls, then the boys are kissing the boys. It's simply fair." The guys were all more scared than grossed out; except Eugene that is. I knew it. I knew Phoebe was loving this. Tall Hair Boy may not know, but she loves her boys love books about as much as I love Arnold. And to see Gerald kissing another guy, even just an embarrassing baby kiss, she nearly passed out from happiness. I wonder if that is anything like my Arnold face.

It was my chance. There was a chance; the stars could align. The heavens could open up and the world could stop spinning while that bottle went round and round and it could be me. But it wasn't. My eyes followed the bottle to the one person I feared. Lila Sawyer. I was hot. I couldn't breathe. My eyes… I could hear the fire raging in them as a little part of my soul bled into them and died. I stood up and excused myself. I manage to get Bob on the phone; I wait outside and get in his big obnoxious Hummer while he lays into me about picking me up.

I try to take him off my mind by throwing myself into practice. We do well, but there aren't enough official teams for a ranking. It doesn't take my mind off him. I keep sneaking in to watch his games.

He didn't see me the rest of the year.


	5. Some sunny day

8th grade

* * *

She was gone all summer.

Olga had a baby. I can just see Helga with a baby; hopefully it isn't anything like that dream I had. At least I know babies don't come from storks now. Phoebe brought in pictures on her phone that Helga had sent her. Apparently the baby looked like Bob causing Olga to cry for two whole weeks.

She was gone from Rhonda's New Year's Eve party. Her family was spending the winter break with Olga for the baby's first Christmas. I told Gerald I wasn't feeling so great and left; I didn't go home though. I went to Mighty Pete. I didn't want a kiss for midnight, not if it didn't mean anything. I think of the times Helga has kissed me. I knew they meant something when she did; I had tried to ask her after the play. She brushed me off. The same when we did that Babewatch episode. And then there was the kiss on the roof at FTI. I had known how she felt. I had known for a long time. I knew it was her journal- I don't even know the exact moment I knew, maybe I always knew but was just too wrapped up in Ruth. I knew she was Cecile. I can't believe I asked her who she was. God, I was so dense. I was terrible at letting her know I knew; that I liked her back. I took a slip of paper out of my wallet from behind my school ID, a small folded up photocopy- a page from a pink journal I still had on my shelf. It was well read, and starting to fall apart at the folds. I didn't need to open it to know what it said, but I wanted to see the writing anyway:

Your eyes: like two green jellybeans  
Are pools I want to bathe in  
My head doth swoon, and yet  
I want to beat your face in*

I wake up to Gerald sitting over the back end of a chair staring me down. "Mmm, mmm, mmm," I move my hand and knock over a pile of empty Yahoo soda bottles from the previous night, "your grandpa called for you this morning, I covered for you. My man Fuzzy Slippers had a feeling I could find you here." I take a quick peek in my wallet; the poem isn't there. I jump up and start searching through the bottles and cushions in the room. "Looking for this?" Gerald waves the folded paper in my face. "You figured it out, didn't you? You know who she is."

"I do, and I can't tell you." I hold my hand out hoping he will give it back.

"No worries man," he hands it back, "but I already know."

"What? How?"

"When she was away at boarding school man, she gave a whole box of those pink journals to Phoebe. They weren't up in her closet yet, Phoebe didn't know we had one so she told me that Helga had left them there for safe-keeping. It was about a week after she left that I found out."

"Please don't tell anyone, not even Phoebe." I don't even wait for a response, "Especially Phoebe. I want to talk to her first."

"Cool man," he says as he gives me our secret handshake. I know we're good. He looks around the room, "You got it bad though. I'll help you clean up here, then we gotta get you home."

I found out she was on the lacrosse team at her school. We had a day where we didn't overlap on our practices, so I would take the bus downtown once a week and watch her practice through the fence around her school. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? I guess it was time for me to watch her from afar.

* * *

I was gone all summer.

Olga had a baby. Olga keeps crying because she thinks it looks like Bob. I kinda like the kid; but I think he looks like me, not Bob. I took so many pictures of that kid I had to clear out my phone twice. I made sure to send a bunch to Phoebs.

I spent all of winter break with my family; Bob rented a cabin in Tahoe, so we could all be together for the baby's first Christmas. I missed Rhonda's New Year's Eve party, but after last year I didn't really know if I was up for going.

Bob has really been laying into me about Miriam. I can hardly get a moment alone. Olga is talking about moving back to the area though, and that should take some of the attention off of me. Plus, as much as Olga annoys me… I love my nephew.

I bury myself in my writing. Not just about Arnold, but mostly. It is the only time my family leaves me alone. I really enjoy it though. There are more emotions I can attend to in my writing than my love/hate relationship with Arnold, and right now, I have a whole slew of emotions to deal with. Who came up with this puberty thing anyway?

I can't get to any of his practices. I can barely get to his games; I still watch from under the bleachers, but Phoebe goes with me. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? I do sit on his fire escape in the middle of the night when I should be at Phoebe's and write letters to him; letters I will never send- letters he will never see.

* * *

*This is one of the poems Helga write before losing her journal and Arnold and Gerald find it. I don't know how they couldn't figure out it was her from this.  
[episode "The Little Pink Book"]


	6. Keep on smilin' just like

9th grade

* * *

She left.

I worked up the courage to stop by her house; a casual-I-was-just-in-the-neighborhood kind of thing. Olga answered; Helga and her parents had moved downtown. So much for that plan.

I didn't see her again until Rhonda's annual New Year's Eve party.

I knew she was coming with Phoebe, and Phoebe was waiting by the front door for Gerald. I set out in my search for her. Rhonda had such a huge house; I thought I came fairly early and there were quite a few more people that chose to do the same. I liked Rhonda and all, but I really only came to see her.

I found her on the patio, leaning over the rail. _Because... 'cause I guess maybe I don't hate you as much as I thought, okay? I guess maybe I... I even kinda like you a little. Heck, I-I guess you might even kinda say I like you a lot._ My brain and my heart are racing, and I don't know which one is ahead. "Helga," I say her name so quiet that I don't even hear it. "Helga, I… I was hoping to-" I took a step toward her and she turned to face me.

I cannot form words. The moon is full behind her; her hair is down, full, and flowing down around her shoulders- flowing right into her dress. She is wearing a shimmery gold dress that is reflecting light from inside. She looks like a goddess, golden from head to toe. _You didn't really mean all that, did you? You don't really... love me, right?_ I take a step in her direction and reach my hand out; I want nothing more than to wipe the tear from her face. "There you are-," the words come to me, "just in time for the tango." The sadness is gone from her eyes; I take a small bow while extending my hand to her.

"But Arnold, th-there's no music," her hand is up. Before she can pull it away I gently raise mine to meet hers; she melts away from the rail into my arms.

"Don't worry you're in good hands," I whisper into her ear before we start swaying. I can feel fireworks in my fingers as I spin her out and pull her back in. "Helga," I want her to see into my eyes, into my soul, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you." I turn her slow. My heart beats as fast as her dress shimmers. I dip her low, bringing her right into my body. I place the tip of my nose right against hers; I want her to hear me, I want her to remember me, "Yeah I've just been waiting-," my voice is low, "waiting for the right moment." I spin her again and bring her in close.

"Arnold…" she stops dancing, "I- I…" and she puts her head down.

"Helga, I know you're not blind," I say, lifting her chin so she is looking at me.

Tears well up in her eyes, she draws her arms in to hold herself. "The least you could do is help me out of here," she whispers. _I'm confused. Did you just say you love me?_

I gave her the easy way out. She wasn't ready.

I took another bow and used that time to hide my own tears. She left the party. She left her purse.

I find Gerald. He asks if I want to get a case of Yahoo and head to Mighty Pete. I don't really feel like having a repeat of last year's pity party. I tuck the purse in my coat and we go to my house. I spend the rest of the night talking conspiracy theories about Helga to Gerald. Phoebe shows up the next morning; she had already been to Rhonda's for the purse. I offer to return it myself, but I know Helga would be embarrassed- and probably mad that she was.

My New Year's resolution is a promise I make to myself: I will handle my saga with Helga by the time I graduate high school, or I will follow my parents into adventure. I start a journal; part in honor of Helga, part in honor of my Dad. I am not good at poetry like Helga, but I make notes of things I see in the city- and I take up sketching. My favorite subject is the bay, followed by the view from my rooftop. But I have written the most on one subject. Helga. And there are so many sketches of her. Maybe I will leave a journal for her to find in return.

* * *

I left.

Bob decided that he wanted a big shot penthouse downtown, better for his image. Olga had been having trouble finding a place with 'that homey family feel' for her and her family, so Bob and Miriam gave her MY house and now my room is a home office. I now have a huge room with a closet that makes Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd jealous; I hate it.

I don't see him again until Rhonda's annual New Year's Eve party.

Phoebe and I came over early and got ready at Rhonda's house. Once people started showing up, early mind you- I mean criminy!- it was just too much. There were too many people, and they all seemed to want to talk to me. I liked Rhonda and all, but I really only came to see him.

I went out on the patio and leaned over the railing. I take out my locket and stare at his face. _Because... 'cause I guess maybe I don't hate you as much as I thought, okay? I guess maybe I... I even kinda like you a little. Heck, I-I guess you might even kinda say I like you a lot._ I try to hold it together, but the air was cold and my body was hot. I shouldn't have come. "Helga," I hear my name. It is quiet. It feels like it is right in my ear, yet a hundred miles away at the same time. "Helga, I… I was hoping to-" I turn and he is standing in front of me. Close, but not so close that we could touch.

I cannot form words. The moon is full behind me; the light from the room inside outlines him. He is still my Prometheus. _You didn't really mean all that, did you? You don't really... love me, right?_ He takes a step in my direction and reaches his hand out; I want nothing more than to wipe the tear from my face, I don't want him to see me cry. "There you are-," his words are soft, careful, "just in time for the tango." I can feel a spark of joy in my eyes; he takes a small bow while extending his hand to me.

"But Arnold, th-there's no music," my hand is up, I am hesitant. Before I can pull it away he gently raises his to meet my fingertips; I melt away from the rail into his arms.

"Don't worry you're in good hands," he whispers into my ear before we start swaying. I can feel fireworks in my fingers as he spins me out and pulls me back in. "Helga," his voice is calm, yet urgent, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you." He turns me slow. My heart is beating faster than a hummingbird. He dips me low, bringing me right into his body. I am so hot; I could burst into flames any moment. Our noses just meet; our souls are touching, it is too much, "Yeah I've just been waiting-," his voice is low, "waiting for the right moment." he spins me again and brings me in close.

"Arnold…" I stop dancing, "I- I…" and I put my head down; I am scared, I don't want him to see.

"Helga, I know you're not blind," he says, lifting my chin so I am looking at him.

Tears well up in my eyes, I pull my arms in; I have to guard my heart. "The least you could do is help me out of here," I whisper. _I'm confused. Did you just say you love me?_

I took the easy way out. I wasn't ready.

He took a bow, granting me the escape I needed. I left the party. I left my purse.

Which of course I didn't realize until Phoebe and I get to the store and I grab a case of Yahoo soda. She pays and we go to Mighty Pete. I go over every little thing he said with her at least a dozen times. I sob uncontrollably in between. I feel like Olga. This puberty business is terrible. Before, my anger was used to hide my feelings. Now I am just angry… or sad.

Phoebe and I go to her house in the morning, and while I shower she goes back to Rhonda's to get my purse.

My New Year's resolution is a promise I make to myself: I will get over my saga with Arnold by the time I graduate high school, and I will focus on my writing.

* * *

*This whole scene is obviously based on the episode "April Fool's Day"

* * *

 **ALSO! I am totally sorry, I had planned to have this whole story done by 3/31, but my husband got food poisoning and the docs thought it might be appendicitis. So we were at the hospital a long time and I didn't get to write during my regular time... sorry :(**


	7. You always do til the blue skies

10th grade

* * *

My year was full of nothing.

There was no New Year's Eve party. Rhonda had joined the lacrosse team as an alternate player. She thought it would help on her college applications. Even though she always cared so much about fashion, and was sometimes a little stuck up, she would get down and dirty on the field with the boys; I wasn't exactly surprised to hear she joined. The whole team was at some special training camp in Vancouver over winter break.

Her practices started back up, and she had them more often. This meant that I could come down and see her practice more often. Our games were also at different times now; she had her games on Saturday mornings now. I watched every game. I found out she was going to be going to a big lacrosse tournament in Portland for spring break. Her JV team made it to the national semi-finals. I took the last day of school off before break and instead went down to the bus depot and rode down. I stayed at the hostel, which was a 30 minute bus ride from the convention center where she would be all week. I made a big pink banner with her name on it to hold up and cheer her on.

There were only JV and varsity games, and her first game was on Sunday. I made sure to get there early for her game. I made sure to sit right at the front; she would be sure to see me. I made sure to wear her team colors and I had brought my big sign. Only, she brought something too. Just as her team was about to take the field, this guy just walks right up to her and hugs her. As though it was nothing! And then he kissed her cheek. _Whoa, this is all happening too fast. I feel—I feel dizzy. I need to lie down_. I think all the color drained from the world at that moment. She blushed and he responds by poking her on the nose. She smiles at him and swats his hand away. No, the color has not drained away. Everything is red now. I leave my sign and check out of my bunk at the hostel. I get back on the bus home.

By the time I get to Gerald's house on Monday, he already knows. Helga sent Phoebe a picture while they were out Sunday night. That guy- her boyfriend- is the brother of a girl on the team. I stop going to her practices. I do go to her last game of the season. But I go with Gerald and Phoebe, and a few other kids I know from around town are there too. His name is Leon. I smile and shake his hand. How could she not go for a guy like him? He has great hair, great teeth, and he plays lacrosse at his all-boys prep academy. _Y-Yeah. W-Well, um. About all that stuff I said, Arnold, I... I... I mean... It was crazy back there, and..._ With a guy like that, why would she ever go for a guy like me?

Once season is over, I bury myself in people watching at the coffeehouse. I don't know how Helga didn't explode. Journaling can barely contain me.

* * *

My year was full of amazing.

I finally convinced Rhonda to join the lacrosse team. Even though she is such a princess sometimes, I know she is quick on the field so I told her that the college admissions would love to see an athletic activity on her transcripts. We also got admitted to a special hardcore training boot camp in Vancouver over winter break, so Rhonda didn't get to throw her annual New Year's party.

There hadn't been enough local teams for a school rating last year, but we had been invited to a national semi-finals gig in Portland for spring break. So we upped our practices to four days a week to prepare.

In return for joining the team, Rhonda requested that I not only go to the pathetic Valentine's Day "Sadie Hawkins" dance at our school where we host the guys prep school at our campus, but that I let her give me a makeover for it. As it was time to pay the piper, I succumbed to girly torture. She waxed my eyebrows, and Olga could not have been happier when she saw them. She also picked out a slinky knee-length white dress with a high neck and a sheer, soft, pink chiffon over layer that softly billowed around my ankles. It was actually quite pretty. Kayla's brother Leon* thought so too.

He was so easy to talk to. We traded numbers and spent the next few weeks trading funny pictures on our phones. Then he started picking his sister up from practice and asked me out one day. Just as friends. We go see some stupid kid movie about bunnies and of course, Lila Sawyer would be there right up front. We made fun of the whole movie and threw popcorn at people. He walked me back to my building and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before asking if he could take me out again. _Whoa, this is all happening too fast. I feel—I feel dizzy. I need to lie down_

I, Helga G. Pataki, have a boyfriend.

Spring break came and we went to our tournament in Portland. Leon came too, since his parents came down to see Kayla play, and he cheered me on. We did well, but we were first place losers. We didn't make the cut off to go to the finals.

When the last game of the season came, Rhonda invited nearly everyone we had ever gone to school with to watch her play. Arnold was there. Leon meets all my old friends. I feel like time is moving in slow motion when he introduces himself to Arnold and shakes his hand. That boy still gives me the biggest case of the butterflies. Of course Arnold is happy for us. _Y-Yeah. W-Well, um. About all that stuff I said, Arnold, I... I... I mean... It was crazy back there, and..._ How could I have thought he could ever go for a girl like me?

Once season is over I get focused on my writing. There is this camp I want to go to, but Bob won't pay for it. He does give me a job at his store for the summer at a slightly better wage though, so I guess I will just have to go next year.

* * *

*Kayla and Leon are totally made up and not from the show


	8. Drive the dark clouds away

11th grade

* * *

That guy is the worst.

Helga brought Leon to Rhonda's New Year's party. I spent the whole night watching them from behind planters and with my back casually to chairs they were sitting in. I have to know what she sees in him. But for a fleeting moment, right as they begin their midnight kiss, she locks eyes with me. _And from that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and—!_

My year is a mess. I drop off the basketball team. It gives me more time. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? More time to journal. More time to draw. More time to follow. _Filling volumes of books with poems about you?_ I see them at Chez Paris celebrating, their anniversary I suppose. I thought Chez Paris was special.

Junior Prom is coming up. Gerald and Phoebe really want me to come with them, they think I need to get out more and raise my spirits. I buy a ticket, but I don't know if I'll go. If they really think I should get out more, there is this camp I found…

* * *

That guy is the best.

I brought Leon to Rhonda's New Year's party. He is just so charming and wonderful. I am really lucky to have a guy like Leon, but at the same time… he isn't HIM. He isn't Arnold. Midnight comes along with a kiss and I can't help but glance over to Arnold and melt at the sight of him. _And from that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and—!_

My year is great. I make captain of the varsity team. But being captain gives me less time. Less time to read, less time to write. I do still have time for my wonderful boyfriend, and we have our one year anniversary at Chez Paris. _Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day_? If I had known that was where he was taking me, I'd have suggested someplace else. _Filling volumes of books with poems about you?_ Chez Paris was special.

Junior Prom is coming up for me, and the Senior Ball for Leon. We have tickets to both dances, and Phoebe and I are going to go dress shopping together. I also have the money for camp, and just need to get my application together for it…

* * *

This brings us to the time of year between spring break and prom. This story continues in Cruel Summer.

Thank you for reading!


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